Gender Equality at German Non-League Grounds

It is one of the phenomena of the non-league scene that hasn't changed since my childhood days – female football fans often have to pay considerably less at the gates than their male counterparts. Interestingly, this oddity approximately starts below the Oberligen (level 5) and can be observed throughout the country.

For example, women only have to pay € 1,50 at Westphalian level 6 side SV Holzwickede. Men not entitled to any reduction have to settle up four times that price:

Once, twice, four times a lady

Sometimes, attending games is even a completely costless affair for the fair sex ("Frauen haben freien Eintritt"):

Dreams are free... it's making them come true that costs so much.

As much as I understand that kind of pricing policy at swinging clubs and discos, I am not able to do the same in this case. What's the benefit for the clubs? Quite apart from the fact that this line of action is veritable unrighteousness.

Feel free to send any valuable information to our address.

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From Düren to Hero: Andreas Lambertz

Lambertz in 2004 vs. GFC Düren

American sportsfans have it good: A rebound is a rebound is a rebound. An RBI …

In football, however, it's always a bit tricky when it comes to individual statistics. To this day, no one could give me a convincing explanation of how a "Zweikampf" (mixture of tackle and 50-50) is exacty defined. Where do short passes stop, where do long passes begin?

Ever since the emergence of companies like Opta or Impire, statistics evaluation has been transformed into an absurd record hunting business.

NEW RECORD: four headed goals in seven games with unwashed ears. You name it.

Despite that, no football player has ever gained promotion with the very same club from level 4 of the league system to the Bundesliga, having played in each of these divisions.

Well, at least until matchday three of the current season. Hats off to Fortuna Düsseldorf's skipper Andreas "Lumpi" Lambertz!

An achievement not to be expected from a narrow-chested midfielder cutting his way through the lowlands of Oberliga Nordrhein in 2004.

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Knocked out Referee: The Luisão Situation

In a Fortuna Düsseldorf v Benfica friendly this afternoon, the ref got knocked out by Benfica skipper Luisão. The incident has not been that easy to evaluate, the game however was instantly abandoned after Christian Fischer came round.

So it's up to you: Malicious attack or simply the worst performance by an actor in a supporting role?

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How football fans see themselves & are seen by others

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Marko Arnautovic: "I'm that rich, I can buy your life"

The best things in life are free

Caught in a police check in Vienna, Austrian Werder striker Marko Arnautovic responded in his very reluctant way:

Sod you! I make so much money that I can buy your life.

According to Austrian newspaper heute the police officer subsequently charged Arnautovic for "aggressive behaviour". So minted Marko probably has to "buy" a lawyer first and foremost.

Anyway, it's time for a quotes section on this blog, isn't it?

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Schland Partyotism

Colourful fan culture or the stupidest achievement since 1909?

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Whatever became of... Mario Basler?

The proof: It's really him! (screenshot: netto-online.de/blog/)

What does he do for a living? Well, first of all he works as manager of Regionalliga (level 4) side Rot-Weiß Oberhausen. But it seems that even the recent relegation of his team did not stop him from looking for a part time job.

So he started to blog for a big discount supermarket chain about Euro 2012. He was not known for profound evaluations as a player, all the better that we now can admire his thinker's pose in front of a chalkboard.

You'd better watch out, Zonal Marking!

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Leapfrogging Oberliga

The sky is the limit!

What reads like an enormous bug in Football Manager 2012 is actually happening in German non-league football right now: some teams have a historic opportunity to gain promotion from level 6 directly to level 4 of the league system.

The reason for this is that the current three Regionalligen (4th tier) will be expanded to five with the beginning of the 2012-13 season. Bavaria, for example, will get it's own division (only god knows why).

The promotion play-off rules differ from region to region. Far in the west, in our biggest federal state North Rhine-Westphalia, even two former Bundesliga sides take part in the crucial matchups: KFC Uerdingen and SG Wattenscheid 09.

The competitors play two matches against each other on a home and away basis (away goals rule applies). Mighty SGW qualified as champions of Verbandsliga Westfalen II (6th tier) and therefore are one the clubs that aim to skip Oberliga (5th tier). Albeit their opponents SV Bergisch Gladbach might also have a say in the matter...

Fixtures
Thursday, 07th June 2012, 15:00 CET
KFC Uerdingen 05 v FC Kray
SSVg Velbert v SV Lippstadt 08
Bergisch Gladbach 09 v SG Wattenscheid 09

Sunday, 10th June 2012, 15:00 CET
FC Kray v KFC Uerdingen 05
SV Lippstadt 08 v SSVg Velbert
SG Wattenscheid 09 v Bergisch Gladbach 09

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23 Tons of 96

Hannover 96 may be the most boring club from the most boring town in the world... but then again they have something "not to mess with":

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Free, funny, Franco Foda

Close, but no banana!

1. FC Kaiserslautern admittedly had to perceive their bitter descent to 2nd division, but they also seem starting to do their homework. Yesterday, Franco Foda officially was presented as new manager. As a distinctive ex-player, he can be considered a supporters' favorite and for that reason alone probably is not the worst of choices.

The 46-year-old furthermore had a long and successful spell as manager of Austrian side Sturm Graz. His most remarkable achievement however was more of an unintentional nature. Coming off the bench, Foda prepared himself to replace teammate Michael Frontzeck in the 82nd minute of an international friendly in Brazil's capital Brasília in 1987.

He certainly had imagined his very first international cap slightly different, but the whole stadium went nuts right after the announcer called his name – "Franco Foda" can be translated as "having sexual intercourse for free" in Brazilian Portuguese.

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The Rest of Leipzig

Leipzig's not only the setting for a soda producer's plan of world conquest, it's also home of the country's most noteworthy football statue. Or eleven noteworthy statues, to be precise.

Summer of 1963. Despite being GDR's 2nd city and having two teams in the top flight, Leipzig hardly noted any success as far as football is concerned. Therefore mass sports organization DTSB decided to unify the two sides to a central Leipzig's sports club – Lokomotive and Rotation turned into SC Leipzig.

The newly formed club's first team was compound from the supposedly best players of its two forerunners. The remaining players, who could not put themselves forward for Leipzig's new footballing flagship, were transferred to BSG Chemie Leipzig.

Chemie were given the vacant Oberliga place and during the run-up to the season the team gained the nickname "Rest von Leipzig" – "Rest of Leipzig". Legendary manager Alfred Kunze shaped a committed gang, solid in defence and good on the break. The team sensationally won the league eventually, probably the biggest upset in the history of the GDR Oberliga.

The championship team of Klaus Günther, Dieter Sommer, Manfred Walter, Bernd Bauchspieß, Heinz Herrmann, Horst Slaby, Wolfgang Behla, Lothar Pacholski, Dieter Scherbarth, Bernd Herzog, Wolfgang Krause, Klaus Lisiewicz and Hans-Georg Sannert was life-sizedly poured in concrete a few years later:

The Rest of Leipzig comic style statues

Over the years Chemie Leipzig became an "elevator side" and were not left untouched by German reunification. The club changed its name to FC Sachsen Leipzig and in 1992, their ground, former Georg-Schwarz-Sportpark, was renamed to Alfred-Kunze-Sportpark.

In March 2009, the club had to declare insolvency for a second time in its history and finally folded on 30 June 2011. As today, SG Leipzig-Leutzsch and BSG Chemie Leipzig both consider themselves as legal successors of the dissolved FC Sachsen. Both clubs face each other in the "Sachsenliga" on level six of the league system.

Confusing stuff, I know. But in all these trials and tribulations, however one constant remains – the "Rest of Leipzig" right next to the main stand of Kunze-Sportpark:

Main stand with the Rest of Leipzig on its right

All photos by courtesy of our friends from German Football Grounds, where you'll find more photos of Alfred-Kunze-Sportpark.

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Die Toten Hosen playing at Jens Jeremies' home

Cheeky Jens Jeremies

Celebrating their 30-year anniversary, German punk rocker "Die Toten Hosen" (DTH) did what they call a Magical-Mystery-Tour across the country. Fans were given the chance to apply for the band performing in their living rooms - for beer, sandwiches and "a place to crash".

One very special application among 4,500 others arrived from a small town in the vicinity of Munich. None other than six-time German champion and Champions League winner Jens Jeremies wanted the band to play at his party basement. Which btw looks like every football maniac's wet dream (except the Bayern posters of course).

He justified his application with the disrespect he received by teammates when he kept listening DTH after they released their famous anti Bayern song, ehm, "Bayern". It is therefore about time for a compensation. Frontman Campino "considered this to be a coherent argument", he said.

So here are Die Toten Hosen performing live at Jens Jeremies' (the stout guy with the Dynamo Dresden shirt) basemant on April 28 2012:

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Mailand oder Madrid? Tim to say good buy

It's not pink, it's salmon-coloured

Once asked for which side he will play next season, Andreas "Andy" Möller responded with his very own unintentional sense of humor:

Mailand oder Madrid, Hauptsache Italien.

Milan or Madrid, as long as it is in Italy.

A legendary bloomer that has already advanced to become a classic of the genre. Furthermore it could have served as a motto for Tim Wiese's career management. Currently attached to Werder Bremen, Germany's No. Two goalkeeper was linked with a move to either Real Madrid or one of the two Milan based giants.

Yesterday however, it was announced that the 30-year-old will work for village club 1899 Hoffenheim in the near future. A news story very well received by local hairdressers and tanning salons at least.

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TiL ft. Hula - Draxler (The Song!)

After two weeks of severe footballing disappointments it's time to cheer up the atmosphere a little bit. I therefore proudly present DRAXLER:



Lyris excerpt:

Here comes Draxler!
Who are Götze and Reus?
Here comes Draxler!
Yes he'll remain faithful to us
Here comes Draxler!
The kid with the horse lungs
Here comes Draxler!
90 minutes at full throttle and then going on a lap of honour

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Dynamo Dresden: Sold out empty stadium

NOT a valid matchday ticket

Because of riots during a cup tie in Dortmund, Dynamo Dresden will have to play today's home encounter with Ingolstadt behind closed doors. Despite the ban, the second division outfit started to offer tickets to the fans.

This proved a resounding success: yesterday, Dynamo announced that they sold any of the 32,066 available "ghost tickets" (which equals the stadium's capacity). In order to fulfill continuing demand, the club are going to extend the sale until kick-off and appeal the supporters:

SG Dynamo Dresden request any ticket owner to close ranks inside the ground. This is the only way for anyone interested waiting outside to NOT watch the game.

Limited edition T-shirts commemorating the "Geisterspiel" (English: "ghost game") are on sale as well. The tickets, which range from 5 EUR (terrace) over 10 EUR (seated) to 20 EUR (VIP), are nothing more than memorabilia likewise. As a reminder, Dynamo outline the privileges of "ghost ticket" holders on their website:

NOT to visit the match vs. Ingoslstadt
NOT to use the tickets for short-distance public transport
NOT to enter the ground
NOT to consume beer and bratwurst

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Otto's Comeback

How to succeed without a George Clooney lookalike between the posts? Can a 73-year-old coach, who is believed to be social conservative and very authoritative, handle a Bundesliga with loads of experienced player in their early twenties? And will we see the return of the sweeper?

Questions upon questions. It's up to Otto Rehhagel (with double-'h'!) to start answering. Today, 15:30 CET, FC Augsburg v Hertha BSC.

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Bayer Leverkusen and Messi: Going, going, gone!

Charityjersey

When dreams come true: Michal Kadlec' and Manuel Friedrich's most ardent wish obvviously was to swap their work gear with the planet's best player. At their recent encounter with Barça the Bayer Leverkusen defensemen finally both got their object of desire, as Friedrich exchanged shirts with Lionel Messi already by halftime.

He thereby was just a few seconds faster than Kadlec, who devised to do the same. Like teenage girls at a Justin Bieber concert.

Thus Bayer sports director Rudi Völler told a newspaper in one of his trademark rants: „I guarantee, that Kadlec and Friedrich will auction their Messi shirts for a good cause. What they have done has certainly been somewhat too much of a good thing."

You win some, you lose some.

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Breath of Roses

Paul > Moussa (Screenshot: "Transfermarkt.de")

Who has been the hottest shit on the German version of football transfers website "Transfermarkt" last week? Messi, Moussa Sow or new NUFC signing Papiss Demba Cissé? No, the profile page of "Paul Janke", 30, got all the attention.

But what is so special about a veteran midfielder playing for Hamburg based 5th division side "Niendorfer TSV"? Well... if I might say so: his footballing market value may be estimated as zero, but in his private live he seems to know how to score. Paul is chief character in the second season of "The Bachelor" on German TV.

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Greuther Fifth

The rather odd logo

The construct of SpVgg Greuther Fürth was actually formed by a merger of three times German champions SpVgg Fürth and the prosperous village club TSV Vestenbergsgreuth in 1996.

Just one year later this convenient marriage of tradition and cash payed off with promotion to 2. Bundesliga. Greuther-Fürth have been playing there since then, making them the longest serving of any current second division teams.

Somewhat quaint, the Shamrock nicknamed team achieved national recognition for finishing in fifth position. Seven times during their actual 14 season lasting stint to be precise:

1997-98: 9th
1998-99: 8th
1999–00: 7th
2000–01: 5th
2001–02: 5th
2002–03: 5th
2003–04: 9th
2004–05: 5th
2005–06: 5th
2006–07: 5th
2007–08: 6th
2008–09: 5th
2009–10: 11th
2010–11: 4th

After completing the first half of the ongoing 2011-12 season, Fürth are ranked on a promising third place. But since the reintroduction of the relegation playoffs in 2009, even this position would not secure automatic promotion for an eventual Greuther Third.

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Informer, you no say that's who I'm gonna blame

Beef!

Clemens Tönnies, chief executive of Schalke's supervisory board, is notorious for his liability to populism. For a couple of years now, the meat industrialist prefers to attend the annual Revierderby in Dortmund with fellow supporters on the terrace.

Last week's meeting has seen the odd smoke and fireworks coming from the away end. Too much for Tönnies, 55, who instantly started to take photos of the troublemakers with his smartphone.

"All reasonable fans should declare their solidarity against these lone perpetrators and expose them with photos so we can file them. These people have to leave our stadia," Tönnies told a newspaper on Wednesday.

Well, Clemens, literally: If you can't stand the heat, stay in your VIP box.

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