Relegation does not necessarily mean Relegation

Hertha's last lifeline

One of the local specialities of German football: the relegation play-offs. It's simply called "Relegation" in this part of the world, which might sound strange to foreign ears. Indroduced in the 1981-82 season, the 1. Bundesliga relegation playoffs were played until 1991 and then again since 2009 following a 18-year hiatus.

Easy formula: Third team from bottom of 1. Bundesliga plays a two-legged playoff with the third-place team of 2. Bundesliga, with the winner playing 1. Bundesliga the next season. Away goals rule applies. The same format is used since 2008-09 between 2. Bundesliga and 3. Liga.

This year's fixtures:

1. Bundesliga Relegation Playoffs
10th May 2012, 20:30 CET: Hertha BSC v Fortuna Düsseldorf
15th May 2012, 20:30 CET: Fortuna Düsseldorf v Hertha BSC

2. Bundesliga Relegation Playoffs
11th May 2012, 20:30 CET:  Jahn Regensburg v Karlsruher SC
16th May 2012, 20:30 CET:  Karlsruher SC v Jahn Regensburg

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Die Toten Hosen playing at Jens Jeremies' home

Cheeky Jens Jeremies

Celebrating their 30-year anniversary, German punk rocker "Die Toten Hosen" (DTH) did what they call a Magical-Mystery-Tour across the country. Fans were given the chance to apply for the band performing in their living rooms - for beer, sandwiches and "a place to crash".

One very special application among 4,500 others arrived from a small town in the vicinity of Munich. None other than six-time German champion and Champions League winner Jens Jeremies wanted the band to play at his party basement. Which btw looks like every football maniac's wet dream (except the Bayern posters of course).

He justified his application with the disrespect he received by teammates when he kept listening DTH after they released their famous anti Bayern song, ehm, "Bayern". It is therefore about time for a compensation. Frontman Campino "considered this to be a coherent argument", he said.

So here are Die Toten Hosen performing live at Jens Jeremies' (the stout guy with the Dynamo Dresden shirt) basemant on April 28 2012:

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Mailand oder Madrid? Tim to say good buy

It's not pink, it's salmon-coloured

Once asked for which side he will play next season, Andreas "Andy" Möller responded with his very own unintentional sense of humor:

Mailand oder Madrid, Hauptsache Italien.

Milan or Madrid, as long as it is in Italy.

A legendary bloomer that has already advanced to become a classic of the genre. Furthermore it could have served as a motto for Tim Wiese's career management. Currently attached to Werder Bremen, Germany's No. Two goalkeeper was linked with a move to either Real Madrid or one of the two Milan based giants.

Yesterday however, it was announced that the 30-year-old will work for village club 1899 Hoffenheim in the near future. A news story very well received by local hairdressers and tanning salons at least.

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Madrid vs Bayern: "90 MINUTEN IM BERNABEU SIND SEHR LANG"

This is how Spanish daily sports tabloid "MARCA" welcomes Bayern Munich on today's front page:

MARCA front page, 24 April 2012

The pro-Real-Madrid newspaper has some German words in advice prior to tomorrow's Champions League semifinal clash. "90 MINUTEN IM BERNABEU SIND SEHR LANG" translates "90 MINUTES AT THE BERNABEU STADIUM CAN BE VERY LONG" in English.

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TiL ft. Hula - Draxler (The Song!)

After two weeks of severe footballing disappointments it's time to cheer up the atmosphere a little bit. I therefore proudly present DRAXLER:



Lyris excerpt:

Here comes Draxler!
Who are Götze and Reus?
Here comes Draxler!
Yes he'll remain faithful to us
Here comes Draxler!
The kid with the horse lungs
Here comes Draxler!
90 minutes at full throttle and then going on a lap of honour

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German Football Museum in Dortmund

In 2009, DFB (German FA) announced that the new German Football Museum will come into existence in Dortmund. It will be located right next to the central train station and last year they even started to do some preparation works. But at the moment there's not much happening. Current photo of the building site:

Mitten ins Herz! – Right to the heart!

The completion of the building is planned for 2014. Uber Football will stick to it and report about progress on the construction at irregular intervals.

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Raúl still got it

Without words:

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The 36 chambers of Felix Magath

"There was a time that the pieces fit, but I watched them fall away"

36 is the largest numeric base that some computer systems support because it exhausts the numerals, 0-9, and the letters, A-Z. 36 is also the number of possible outcomes in the roll of two distinct dice.

For VfL Wolfsburg manager Felix Magath, 36 most notably is the number of players used during the first 28 matchdays of the 2011-12 season. This new record for the Bundesliga isn't that surprising considering that the club signed 9 new players during the winter transfer window. 

The 36 crazyfists:

Marcel Schäfer, Defender, 27
Christian Träsch, Defender, 24
Diego Benaglio, Goalkeeper, 28
Mario Mandzukic, Forward, 25
Josué, Midfielder, 32
Ashkan Dejagah, Midfielder, 25
Makoto Hasebe, Midfielder, 28
Marco Russ, Defender, 26
Alexander Madlung, Defender, 29
Patrick Ochs, Midfielder, 27
Hasan Salihamidzic, Midfielder, 35
Ja-Cheol Koo, Midfielder, 23
Patrick Helmes, Forward, 28
Ricardo Rodríguez, Defender, 19
Felipe, Defender, 24
Jan Polak, Midfielder, 31
Srdjan Lakic, Forward, 28
Rasmus Jönsson, Forward, 22
Petr Jiracek, Midfielder, 26
Sebastian Polter, Forward, 21
Chris, Defender, 33
Sotirios Kyrgiakos, Defender, 32
Bjarne Thoelke, Defender, 19
Giovanni Sio, Midfielder, 23
Thomas Hitzlsperger, Midfielder, 29
Yohandry Orozco, Midfielder, 21
Aleksandr Hleb, Midfielder, 30
Simon Kjaer, Defender, 23
Vieirinha, Midfielder, 26
Marwin Hitz, Goalkeeper, 24
Michael Schulze, Defender, 23
Robin Knoche, Defender, 19
Sebastian Schindzielorz, Midfielder, 33
Ibrahim Sissoko, Midfielder, 20
Hrvoje Cale, Defender, 27
Maximilian Arnold, Midfielder, 17

Now guess the manager who then used 34 of the 35 players that held the now broken record (Eintracht Frankfurt, 2000-01 season)...

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