Didier Deschamps founders on Schweinsteiger

Olympique Marseille and Bayern München will meet each other in the Chamions Leauge quarterfinal. Talking about the upcoming tie at a press conference, OM manager Didier Deschamps spectacularly failed to pronounce the name of Bayern's key player:



"Scheißneger" literally translates as, well, ehm... "Shite Nigger". He "may have forgetten a 'H' somewhere," Dechamps admitted sheepishly. Yeah well, Didier, you did. And a 'W', a 'T', an 'I'...

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Borussia Metaphoric

A wait at the bus station uses to be a boring affair. But sometimes...

Suddenly it catched sight of it. Laying on the soil behind the trash bin, almost flawless between fag butts and any kind of dirt. A button displaying Borussia Mönchengladbach's logo. It just could be emblematic for the cub's recent success. From dirty relegation battle to the spotlights of European football. Risen from the ruins.

Welly well, the beauty of small things. Or maybe I'm just a desperate nerd, seeking for a bit of football in virtually everything.

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Dynamo Dresden: Sold out empty stadium

NOT a valid matchday ticket

Because of riots during a cup tie in Dortmund, Dynamo Dresden will have to play today's home encounter with Ingolstadt behind closed doors. Despite the ban, the second division outfit started to offer tickets to the fans.

This proved a resounding success: yesterday, Dynamo announced that they sold any of the 32,066 available "ghost tickets" (which equals the stadium's capacity). In order to fulfill continuing demand, the club are going to extend the sale until kick-off and appeal the supporters:

SG Dynamo Dresden request any ticket owner to close ranks inside the ground. This is the only way for anyone interested waiting outside to NOT watch the game.

Limited edition T-shirts commemorating the "Geisterspiel" (English: "ghost game") are on sale as well. The tickets, which range from 5 EUR (terrace) over 10 EUR (seated) to 20 EUR (VIP), are nothing more than memorabilia likewise. As a reminder, Dynamo outline the privileges of "ghost ticket" holders on their website:

NOT to visit the match vs. Ingoslstadt
NOT to use the tickets for short-distance public transport
NOT to enter the ground
NOT to consume beer and bratwurst

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Twente-Twente Vision

Europa League has seen a new record yesterday: A team being triple-handicapped by a single ref decision. Slainte mhath!

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ARNE FRIEDRICH IS NOT GAY!

NOT GAY!

The new Chicago Fire signing ain't gay!*

Did you get message? Arne Friedrich is not a homosexual.

I repeat: The 32-year-old defender is not gay.

Everybody now:

A R N E__F R I E D R I C H__I S__N O T__G A Y!

*In October 2011, Friedrich's girlfriend wrote a fabulous open letter to the media, stating how sick she is of all the people googling for Arne Friedrich schwul (English: Arne Friedrich gay). "Arne ain't gay and I'm pretty sure that he'd be the last one to deny his sexuality," she clarified her position.

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Otto's Comeback

How to succeed without a George Clooney lookalike between the posts? Can a 73-year-old coach, who is believed to be social conservative and very authoritative, handle a Bundesliga with loads of experienced player in their early twenties? And will we see the return of the sweeper?

Questions upon questions. It's up to Otto Rehhagel (with double-'h'!) to start answering. Today, 15:30 CET, FC Augsburg v Hertha BSC.

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Bayer Leverkusen and Messi: Going, going, gone!

Charityjersey

When dreams come true: Michal Kadlec' and Manuel Friedrich's most ardent wish obvviously was to swap their work gear with the planet's best player. At their recent encounter with Barça the Bayer Leverkusen defensemen finally both got their object of desire, as Friedrich exchanged shirts with Lionel Messi already by halftime.

He thereby was just a few seconds faster than Kadlec, who devised to do the same. Like teenage girls at a Justin Bieber concert.

Thus Bayer sports director Rudi Völler told a newspaper in one of his trademark rants: „I guarantee, that Kadlec and Friedrich will auction their Messi shirts for a good cause. What they have done has certainly been somewhat too much of a good thing."

You win some, you lose some.

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Bruno Labbadia: Be Quiet And Dive

Current VfB Stuttgart manager Bruno Labbadia may be on the brink of his sacking after a lousy start in 2012, but has seen better times. A Bundesliga champion as a player with both Kaiserslautern and Bayern, most notably his stint at the first-mentioned club lead to his reputation of being a worthy successor of Gerd Müller.

Perhaps this kind of appraisal was slightly overstated, but have you ever seen "Der Bomber" finding the net shortly after awkwardly diving two times inside the box? No? Well... handsome Bruno did so in 1991 when he won the title with the "Red Devils":

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